In the spirit of Nowruz, (and also because, I concede, I’m already running out of ideas for blog posts) I will present to you all a Haft Seen of sorts. But instead of seven objects or foods that are symbolic for Iranians, I will list seven “resolutions” that are important for Iran and Iranians. And just as millions of naive resolutions for finding true love or finding a true weight-loss formula gradually die as New Year’s Day recedes in memory, so will, most likely, these optimistic desires.

Remove the “Republic” from the Islamic Republic of Iran. It’s not a democratic system when 90% of reformist candidates are barred from running for Parliament, and almost a third of all candidates disqualified. And one week obviously isn’t long enough to campaign, especially when it’s the week before the biggest holiday of the year.

Stop using Afghan refugees as a scapegoat for Iran’s economic problems. Expelling 1.5 million back to a country with an extremely untenable humanitarian situation is far from Islamic. Let alone denying registered Afghan refugees basic services, like education for the children. The time has come for Iran to rectify this prejudiced policy.

Mr. Ahmadinejad, if you wouldn’t mind, stop embarrassing us. Lotfan. Advocating for a civilian nuclear energy program is one thing, and many of us would even agree with it. But calling for the destruction of a sovereign state and denying the Holocaust is another. And unless you’re David Blaine, declaring that homosexuals don’t exist in Iran won’t make them disappear.

Please win a damn soccer match. Just like how they helped end our dreams of reaching the 2002 World Cup, lowly Bahrain has again ousted Team Melli after a pitiful performance.

Iranian-American parents, success for your children does not necessarily equal a profession in engineering or the medical sciences. Trust me, I know. My career prospects in engineering are definitely slim after failing Multivariable Calculus and almost failing Statistics and Engineering Design. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I largely hate engineering.

Change the outdated draft procedures for young Iranian men, especially those who live outside the country. Visiting relatives in Iran shouldn’t mean a month of creeping anxiety for our parents who believe we’re only a stone’s throw away from being detained upon trying to leave the country. And is there a procedure for Iranian males living abroad to pay to remove their draft status, or isn’t there? Make up your minds, and we’ll help make up for your lagging economy with our dollars and euros, as condescending as that sounds.

For the Iranian authorities: fix your roads. You keep proclaiming that Iran is developing on a massive scale, yet time and time again, horrible road accidents show otherwise.

Feel free to comment on these somewhat random resolutions, or add some of your own. Saal-e nou mobarak.

-Kevin